This explains a lot

The Associated (with terrorists) Press took a break from its usual beat March 19 to report that a study by a Federal education bureau with the Orwellian monicker "State Education Agency" found that 1/3 of DC residents were functionally illiterate. 

The good news? I guess I could write just about anything about them without hurting their feelings, then. 

"Adults are considered functionally illiterate if they have trouble doing such things as comprehending bus schedules, reading maps and filling out job applications," the wire service elaborated. If you've ever seen Sen. Ted Kennedy trying to do much of anything beyond feed his face and simple locomotion -- and those two tasks, not synchronously -- you've seen this in action. 

"Adults age 65 and older had the lowest literacy score of any group," AP reports. Hey, doesn't that pretty much describe Congress and the Cabinet?

(Complete story in the extended entry in case it's no longer here when you read this). 

Study Finds One-Third in D.C. Illiterate  

Mar 19 11:50 AM US/Eastern

WASHINGTON (AP) - About one-third of the people living in the national's capital are functionally illiterate, compared with about one-fifth nationally, according to a report on the District of Columbia.

Adults are considered functionally illiterate if they have trouble doing such things as comprehending bus schedules, reading maps and filling out job applications.

The study by the State Education Agency, a quasi-governmental office created by the U.S. Department of Education to distribute federal funds for literacy services, was ordered by Mayor Anthony A. Williams in 2003 as part of his four-year, $4 million adult literacy initiative.

The growing number of Hispanic and Ethiopian immigrants who aren't proficient in English contributed to the city's high functional illiteracy level, which translated to 170,000 people, said Connie Spinner, director of the State Education Agency. The report says the district's functional illiteracy rate is 36 percent and the nation's 21 percent.

Adults age 65 and older had the lowest literacy score of any group, the report found.

The District of Columbia Chamber of Commerce, which contributed to the report, said the city lost up to $107 million in taxes annually between 2000 and 2005 because of a lack of qualified job applicants.